Not If I See You First by Eric Lindstrom // A Unique High School Drama

Item: Not If I See You First
Rating: 4.5
Author: Molly's Book Nook

Not If I See You First by Eric Lindstrom // A Unique High School Drama

Not If I See You First by Eric Lindstrom
Genres: Contemporary (YA), Coming of Age (YA), Disability
Pages: 320
Goodreads

The Rules:
Don’t deceive me. Ever. Especially using my blindness. Especially in public.
Don’t help me unless I ask. Otherwise you're just getting in my way or bothering me.
Don’t be weird. Seriously, other than having my eyes closed all the time, I’m just like you only smarter.
Parker Grant doesn’t need 20/20 vision to see right through you. That’s why she created the Rules: Don’t treat her any differently just because she’s blind, and never take advantage. There will be no second chances. Just ask Scott Kilpatrick, the boy who broke her heart.
When Scott suddenly reappears in her life after being gone for years, Parker knows there’s only one way to react—shun him so hard it hurts. She has enough on her mind already, like trying out for the track team (that’s right, her eyes don’t work but her legs still do), doling out tough-love advice to her painfully naive classmates, and giving herself gold stars for every day she hasn’t cried since her dad’s death three months ago. But avoiding her past quickly proves impossible, and the more Parker learns about what really happened—both with Scott, and her dad—the more she starts to question if things are always as they seem. Maybe, just maybe, some Rules are meant to be broken.
Combining a fiercely engaging voice with true heart, debut author Erid Lindstrom’s Not If I See You First illuminates those blind spots that we all have in life, whether visually impaired or not.

“Seeing is not believing.”

There wasn’t really a plot. Not in the traditional sense, anyway. There was no build up to any climax, or really a resolution. With that said, it was an enjoyable story. For the most part, the entire plot is centered around high school drama from crushes to breakups to bullies. Somehow, Lindstrom made this entertaining. What probably held it together and kept the pace going was the unique main character. If you haven’t read the summary above, Parker is blind. She’s not only blind but she also has endured many tragedies in her short life so far. Reading about this very emotionally broken girl navigate through high school while still battling with her peer’s stereotypes of the blind was intriguing and inspiring. That’s what makes this story great, not so much the plot itself.

Something else I did enjoy about the plot is that it does not have a huge focus on the love story. Yes, it’s there. Yes, her love interest pops up a lot. But that’s not really what the story is about. So, if you’re looking for a great teenage romance, look elsewhere.

With what I said about Parker above, you probably think she’s a do-good, warm-hearted, relatable character. Well, she’s the exact opposite. She can be self-centered, has a quick tongue, is brutally honest and can be quite rude at times. Sometimes I couldn’t stand her and got the feeling that she used her disability to justify her personality. That isn’t ok – just because she can’t see does not give her permission to be cruel to people. However, I also liked her character for most of the same reasons. She doesn’t put up with people’s teasing, tells people what they need to hear not want to hear, and she doesn’t beat around the bush.

She was also a very emotionally complex character. After all the tragedies in her life, she puts up this tough-girl façade that eventually comes crashing down. Her character is one that I had a very love-hate relationship with.

Some other characters to highlight were her friends. She had a fantastic group of girlfriends that really stuck by her side through everything. Every teenage girl should have a group of friends like that through high school.

This book is written very well. It really captures the tone of a teenage girl, with a very natural flow and dialogue. Parker’s quick tongue created some humorous moments and her inner monologues created the depth that this novel needed. On the other hand, the pacing was a bit odd, because of it’s lack of actual plot. It was little slow and you didn’t really know when the story was building, when the climax hit and when it was resolved. It was a little clunky and even the ending felt unfinished. That’s not to say it was boring, I just wanted more of a plot.

I went into this book with no expectations and was pleasantly surprised. While there was a plot that left you wanting, the characters and Parker’s inner-struggles are what made this story great. It’s insightful and has a lot of meaningful moral lessons you can learn. It’s a story about growing up, learning to let go and learning to listen. If you’re looking for a unique perspective, a not-so-typical female protagonist, and a story less about love and more about friendship, this book is for you.

“I saw a side of the world I knew existed but thought I could protect myself from, and in that moment I saw that I never could. There’s no absolute safety to be found anywhere. Not the kind I want anyway.”