The Kiss Quotient: Keyword, Uncomfortable

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang
Genres: Contemporary, Own Voices, Romance
Goodreads

A heartwarming and refreshing debut novel that proves one thing: there's not enough data in the world to predict what will make your heart tick.

Stella Lane thinks math is the only thing that unites the universe. She comes up with algorithms to predict customer purchases—a job that has given her more money than she knows what to do with, and way less experience in the dating department than the average thirty-year-old.

It doesn't help that Stella has Asperger's and French kissing reminds her of a shark getting its teeth cleaned by pilot fish. Her conclusion: she needs lots of practice—with a professional. Which is why she hires escort Michael Phan. The Vietnamese and Swedish stunner can't afford to turn down Stella's offer, and agrees to help her check off all the boxes on her lesson plan—from foreplay to more-than-missionary position...

Before long, Stella not only learns to appreciate his kisses, but to crave all the other things he's making her feel. Soon, their no-nonsense partnership starts making a strange kind of sense. And the pattern that emerges will convince Stella that love is the best kind of logic...

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I had high hopes for this one but not only was I let down; I was left feeling so uncomfortable. 

The plot is rather lackluster. At the bare minimum, it’s a book about a girl who is inexperienced in the bedroom who enlists the help of an experienced man to teach her how to be…sexual. Which, alright, that’s what drew me in in the first place. The plot starts off strong. Though, I’ll admit, rather abrupt. There wasn’t enough development of who Stella was before she meets Michael (the love interest). All I really knew about her was that she had Asperger’s and worked in the STEM field. This plot immediately took a turn exactly when Michael is introduced (which, as I stated, is very early on).

First of all, their romance is definitely insta-love. I don’t always hate insta-love, espcially for this type of book. But the smut is totally awkward. In fact, I skipped most of it because I couldn’t handle how uncomfortable it made me feel. I didn’t realize how much a woman’s vagina being called “her sex” bothered me until I listened to this. The amount of times Stella references her nether regions as “her sex” or “my sex” really made me cringe. Call it literally anything else, please, even just once.

Those aren’t even the worst things about this book. I can handle insta-love and awkward smut scenes (even if they are excessive). My main issues actually lied in the consent of it all and how Stella’s Aspergers just seemed to magically vanish when she was with Michael. 

And that is what made me give this book 1 star. This is an own voices book in that the author is autistic. So, I’m genuinely surprised Stella’s Aspergers is handled the way it was. First of all, the fact that Stella is basically perfect, except this one thing is made to be her flaw, doesn’t sit right with me to begin with. Then add that she doesn’t learn to accept this “flaw” until a totally possessive asshole comes around and “fucks it out of her” – I mean, come on. I don’t think I need to explain why that is an issue, so I’ll just say…I was not okay with that, at all.

But let’s play a game of ‘what if’. What if she didn’t have Aspergers, maybe she was just a timid, awkward girl looking to gain more experience in the bedroom – Michael is still a prick. He forces her into situations she is uncomfortable with and then does the “see, I told you so” thing when she “enjoys” it. Now, add in that she does have Aspergers and is genuinely not okay with a lot of situations because of something deeper than just being a timid girl, but is basically coerced, or gently nudged, into doing those things anyways…but because she orgasms, it’s all okay.

No, no it’s not. That’s not how that works – in either of those situations. 

It’s actually making me uncomfortable to even write this review. I highly recommend you read any of the 1-star reviews on Goodreads because they basically explain exactly how I feel about this book.

At the end of the day, I do not recommend this one, at all.